All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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