On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
