Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
