Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
