I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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