If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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