Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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