Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
