i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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