Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
