you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize