Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
