garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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