Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
