I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
