i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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