I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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