Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
