I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
