I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
