is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
zippers are such a cool invention
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
