your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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