I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
