it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
