Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
