I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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