i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
