so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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