Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
