I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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