did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The beer is more important than you right now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize