Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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