Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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