So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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