so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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