Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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