now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
