can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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