omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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