my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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