i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
