yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
