After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
