Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
