If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
