The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize