I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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