I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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