Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
