your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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