That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
