I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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