Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
