I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My balls are so social today.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize