if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
FUCK WHALES
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
