I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How naked do you want me to be?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
