dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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