A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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