so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
